I feel the need to express my story because somehow it helps to ease my fears even though it may not be of interest for others to read.  I am 18 and struggling to finish school, struggling to survive and struggling to provide for my family at a young age. Sometimes, I feel like a much older man.

I live in a barrio with my two sisters and my mother. We have no other known relatives close to us and only have ourselves to depend on. Our father was a fisherman, but is no longer with us. One stormy night, my father insistently went fishing with his other fishermen friends because we badly needed the food and money. Unfortunately, when you’re poor, sometimes safety does not become an option or there are times when you do not really have options.

His fisherman friends came back from that trip, but he never did. They say a big wave hit their group and simply just scattered them. As they regrouped, my father was not to be found and remains missing till this day. I can still remember how my family and I reacted when we were given the news. It was as though time stopped for us and the silence was so deafening.  After that, my mother didn’t say a single word for weeks. And then, she just started to act strangely – talking alone to herself and sometimes just laughing and crying unpredictably.

My mother was diagnosed as schizophrenic. She still suffers from schizophrenia and has been sent to a mental institution for treatment. I rarely visit her. Aside from financial reasons, I dread looking at her eyes. They just stare at me in total blankness, with no emotions or sense of recognition. I do not know what to feel towards her anymore. I love her but I wish she could have been stronger. The last thing I needed when my father died was to lose my mother as well. I feel that my mother just gave up, but how could she? There are so many times that I long for a parent to confide in or just for someone to cry on when things get extremely hard. But I have no parents now, and must become the parent at a young age.

I do not know if working hard to finish school is worth my time and don’t know if it will ever get me anywhere. I have almost nothing, aside from my own perseverance but the life of a typical student seems so unreal compared to my life today.

School did nothing for the relationship with my girlfriend. She left me for another man because she felt that I was not giving her enough time and that I do not take her to places for fun. But, I am too busy with work and school. She just couldn’t see all of my earnings either went to her or my siblings and that I can’t even spare some for myself.  I want to tell her this, but it is pointless. Her new boyfriend seems to be well off and is capable of taking her to places and giving her nice gifts. There is nothing that I can do to compete with her new boyfriend. Instead of making a big scene, I loved her enough to just let her go. I want nothing but the best for her, even if that means that my heart is broken and the hurt that I feel from her loss just does not stop hurting me.

When I see my brothers and sisters struggling and hungry I want to just disconnect from life but I know that if I end my life, I almost end theirs as well. Life seems so unfair. Everyday, most young people just worry about what to wear, where to go for a night out with friends, where to eat, or how to do a homework problem. Those seem like such trivial problems when I am worried about having enough money to feed what’s left of my family today.

I only have two thoughts now that I must deal with each morning. Shall I continue the struggle or do I just end it up the fast way. For a long time I have decided to go for the harder option because of Hope and Love for my family. But I just don’t how much more my young heart can take. I don’t know how to make things right. I only know how to get through the day and maybe at the end of the day, we’ll have enough to eat. I don’t really know how much longer I can keep it up because part of me is asking what about me? What about my life? What about my love? What about my future? Sometimes, it feels like I will not have my own life, love or a future. I feel so alone at times walking in the shoes of a poor fisherman’s son.

(photo by: Pic Galore, Video: YouTube – John Legend, “Everybody Knows”)

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Economic freedom is defined as the right of individuals to control his own labor and property. In an economically free country, individuals are free to work, produce and consume goods, and make investments as they please. That freedom is protected by the government and not constrained by the state.

Why is “economic freedom” of importance to the Philippines?

There is a relationship between economic freedom and the standard of living in a country. Countries with a high degree of economic freedom also have high standards of living with a per capita GDP (gross domestic product) of over $40,000 USD. Countries with a low degree of economic freedom have very low standards of living, with a per capita GDP of under $4,000 USD.

The per capita GDP of the Philippines is $3,153 USD, placing it on the low end of the standard of living scale.

How does the Philippines rank in relation to other Asian countries?

The Economic Freedom score for the Philippines (56.8) is not in the top 10 scores in the Asian region. Hong Kong placed first with a score of 90.0, followed by Singapore (87.1), Australia (82.6), New Zealand (82.0), Japan (72.8), Macau (72.0), Taiwan (69.5), South Korea (68.1), Malaysia (64.6), and Thailand (63.0).

In what ways does the Philippines score well in Economic Freedom?

The Economic Freedom score is based on many other “freedom scores” that are combined to provide one overall score. The Philippines scores above the world average with respect to trade freedom, government size, and monetary freedom.

Trade Freedom:

The Philippines has a relatively low tariff rate (tax on foreign goods) resulting in an above average trade freedom score (78.6). However, it lost a lot of points in the scoring due to non-tariff barriers to trade. These non-tariff barriers include governmental restrictions on imports/exports, licensing requirements, restrictive standards, inconsistent customs valuation, corruption, and weak protection of intellectual property. The theory is that no barriers to trade is best and provides individuals with access to the best goods and freedom to trade.

Government Size:

Government size also scored favorably (90.8) for not consuming too much of the national income and demonstrating progress in reducing debt and increased privatization of industries. The theory is that if the government is too large and costly, it takes too much wealth out of the hands of individuals and does not operate efficiently.

Monetary Freedom:

Monetary freedom was also better than average (77.2) due to a moderate inflation rate of 4.1 percent over the last few years. The score would have been even higher had it not been for some governmental price controls. The theory is that fewer price controls are better, allowing goods and services to be priced at their true value rather than the artificially higher costs of “protected” goods.

In what ways does the Philippines score poorly in Economic Freedom?

The Philippines scores poorly (below the world average) with respect to business freedom, investment freedom, property rights, freedom from corruption, and labor freedom.

Labor Freedom:

Labor freedom is ranked below average (51.4) due to inflexible labor laws that adversely affect productivity and job creation.

Business Freedom:

Business freedom was below average (49.3) due to the length of time required to start a business (58 days compared to a world average of 38 days). In addition, closing a business can be a difficult and drawn out process. Theoretically, start up of a new business should be quick and easy.

Investment Freedom:

Investment freedom was below the world average (40.0) due to restrictions on foreign investment. Major criticisms include inconsistent regulatory requirements, inadequate infrastructure, poor enforcement of contracts, complex dispute resolution and corruption. Theoretically, there should be no barriers to investment (local or foreign) which is needed for growth.

Property Rights:

Property rights also scored below average (30.0). The Heritage Foundation describes the country’s judicial system as weak and subject to delays and uncertainties. Theoretically, the state serves to protect property rights to insure that the rights of individuals and businesses are preserved to permit efficient business operations.

Freedom From Corruption:

Freedom from corruption also scored very low (25.0). The Foundation describes the country as having the broad perception that corruption is widespread throughout government. Without judging whether or not that perception is true, theoretically businesses must have a high degree of confidence in the government to operate effectively.

Economic Freedom in the Philippines: Summary

Despite being ranked 104th in the world with respect to economic freedom, there are signs of progress. The country’s economic freedom score improved since 2008. Low barriers to trade, right-sized government, and low inflation are seen as strengths that foster economic freedom and ultimately economic growth and development.

On the downside, labor and business laws, barriers to foreign investment, weak protection of property rights and corruption were ranked as weaknesses that work against economic freedom and economic progress.

To keep things in perspective however, one should keep in mind that the way the Heritage Foundation measures economic freedom is based on an ideal version of capitalism where free trade, a free market, and no government intervention is considered the highest level of economic freedom. No country has a perfect economic freedom score of 100.

To varying degrees, every country’s government finds it necessary from time to time to regulate trade and to intervene in the market when it is thought desirable for the public good. So for example, even the “capitalistic” USA only has an economic freedom score of 80.7. Nevertheless, the measures used to determine economic freedom are useful indicators to think about if economic progress and development are desired.

(photo by lusi)

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Tonya (20, Iloilo)

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Tonya, I think the answer to your question is not to be found in your thoughts. Instead, I think the answer to your question is in what he is saying to you. Just think for a moment what he is saying to you when he knows that you are pregnant and has never said anything to you? What is he saying to you when he knows where you and your son live and never comes to the door? What is he saying to you when he knows your phone number and never calls?

I know you still love him, but I think his feelings for you should be very obvious. I think that if you “listen” to what he is saying to you, you will know when it is time to let go. You need to raise your son on reality, not empty dreams.

–Mike

There are a lot of women I know who are very emotionally attached to their man even if that man was someone who broke their hearts and caused them so much suffering. Trust me, I’ve had my share of such stupidity. But you should know that you would not want yourself or your son to settle for mediocrity. You deserve so much more than that “douche bag”. You cannot forget him because you still insist on remembering the sweet moments, the memorable times and places that you spent together, and the all the good qualities of his personality. But let me give you a slap of reality. The fact that he abandoned you should outweigh all the good stuff.  I know you are not able to forget or let go of him just like that, but be open to the process even if it’s slow. Invest your time in worthwhile things or things you’re passionate about. Focus on activities that you and your son can even share together. You have the rest of your life to live, so many people to meet, and so many positive possibilites to look forward to.  Why waste your time thinking of him or reminiscing empty moments and promises. The mere fact that you are asking when to let go should make you realize what you are already telling yourself.  I think we both know that the answer is: NOW.

– Apple

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Willie Revillame has had a controversial career at times. The outspoken actor and television host for Wowowee has been involved in a number of incidents that resulted in him being suspended for making jokes on some of the shows that he hosted. 

He was later cleared of criminal charges related to the Wowowee incident in which 74 died during a bomb scare and resulting panic at the PhilSports Arena. In 2009, controversy once again emerged regarding his comments related to Cory Aquino’s funeral. And this time, it seems that his comments were blown out of proportion and not were not intended to dishonor the former president.

Willie Revillame remains an outspoken and controversial character. His voice is at times rough, but there is an honesty and unpretentiousness about his singing style that appeals to many. He may be controversial at times, but perhaps from time to time that is what we really need – simple, heart felt honest emotions – even if they may offend some from time to time.

“Yun Ka” is a nice song, deep and honest with respect to one’s feelings of love. It is not surprising that the song is popular and receives much air time on the radio. Maybe his voice is not the slickest and most electronically enhanced voice there is today on the market, but there is something genuine about Willie Revillame and “Yun Ka” that wins a spot for our song of the week.

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Ferdinand (25, Manila)

Perhaps I’m old-fashioned, but I truly believe that any successful marriage depends on love and money. Without love, any marriage will eventually fail. But without money, then there is a good chance that you will fail to properly support your family in the future.  If this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity that will lead to a good career, then I see it as a sacrifice that the two of you should make for your future together. If your fiance is unwilling to compromise or wait for you, then I believe that she is being unrealistic about what it takes to make a successful marriage. If she truly loves you, then she will wait. If you truly love her, then you will return to her. If the two of you really don’t trust each other, then perhaps the two of you really aren’t ready for marriage in the first place.

– Michael

I believe you feel like you’re caught in the middle. I do think that it would be very impractical to turn down such an offer more so if it may aid financial and career growth. In return that would mean that you will be a better provider to your soon to be wife and your family in the future. Furthermore being abroad would not imply zero communication right?

As Mike said compromise is very essential. I think that the choice is not between love or money. Rather you should just make sure that if you pursue your career, being separated for miles should not drain away the love you have of her or the love she has for you. There should be an equal effort and understanding from both sides as it turns into a long distance relationship.

– Apple

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Sarah (24,  Cebu)

Sarah, I believe that you are pressuring yourself between divulging this problem to your boyfriend or leaving it in secrecy so as to not hurt his feelings and make him feel incompetent. I believe that you should let him know, because most guys are unaware of their inadequacies unless you give them a dose of reality straight to their face. Almost all women have faked some of their orgasms. But if it is something which you are frequently doing, then obviously something is wrong.

I am sure that the reason that you do not reach orgasm is because there are things which he does not do or that you wish that he would do during the sexual act. This lack is what decreases the sexual pleasure for you. The two of you should be open about these types of needs with one another. Maybe, he also has his share of concerns and what if’s. By opening up to each other, you may discover each other’s inner thoughts and needs - and that might lead to a better sexual experience.

In a relaxed manner,  be very honest with him and describe your desires. Talk about your needs during foreplay and during the sexual act. Also, do not forget to point out the things which  pleases you as well. Since the two of you are willing to be physically naked with each other, I think it should be possible to be emotionally naked with one another as well. And this may help to make your relationship more open and satisfying.

– Apple

If you fake your orgasms, then you are telling your lover that his lovemaking is meeting your needs and encouraging him to perform more of the same in the future. If you must be angry, you need to be angry with yourself for constantly encouraging and rewarding him for being less than adequate for your needs.

If the problem is that he reaches orgasm too quickly, there are a number of things that can be done to delay his orgasm. This includes wearing a condom (I hope that he is doing this already), use of substances that slightly numb the male organ, slowing down when he is about to have an orgasm and controlling his thoughts to mentally to delay an orgasm.

If the problem is that you reach orgasm very slowly, there are a number of things that can be done to speed up your orgasm during the sex act. This includes more foreplay, using sexual positions that are more stimulating for you, and being aware of when he is about to have an orgasm and trying to control that by slowing down or applying pressure to prevent his orgasm. Do these things often enough and you may be able to “train” your lover to delay his orgasm.

If none of these things seem to work, then you also need to let go of the expectation that the two of you must achieve orgasm at the same time. If he reaches an orgasm first, then he can do many things to help you reach an orgasm. If you masturbate alone, you lose the intimacy of the sex act. It would be much better if you were able to reach orgasm through his actions even if it is not through regular sex.

 – Michael

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I was raised in Cebu and had a secure job with a very good company after graduating. But then, I fell in love, married and bore my husband three children. Unfortunately, my husband was less successful in his career and maybe he secretly resented me for having a good job. After our third child, he decided to take us to Mindanao where he hoped to obtain a good job. I willingly left my secure job because I believed that it would be worth the sacrifice. I believed that it would be a new beginning and the start of a financially stable and new life for our family.

But my dreams were soon shattered. The children and I were left in a small shack. Often I would not see my husband for days at a time, and when he did come home, he was usually drunk. He would stay for a while and then leave again, without providing us with any money for the family. This was a very difficult time because there were no neighbors or stores nearby and I felt abandoned in the wilderness.

After a while, I soon came to fear his visits home. Instead of food, money or support from my husband, he came home with a violent temper. In his drunken rage, he would beat us and make all sorts of wild accusations. As time passed, his temper grew worse. When he beat us, I would try to protect the children by taking the punches and kicks that were meant for them. Although they hurt greatly, the thought of them landing on my children was a bigger fear for me.

Finally, I could not bear it any more. I was desperate. One day, I just went out and decided to beg and borrow whatever I could to go home to Cebu. Fortunately, I met a kind and generous soul along the way who did offer to help me escape from my husband and the terrible situation that we were in.

I can still remember the feelings that I had when the boat reached the pier in Cebu. It felt like I had been deprived of water for many days, and for the first time I was drinking the cool water of safety and freedom. I took my children home with me to my mother. We did not have to say anything to one another, she could see in my eyes what had happened to me. We simply hugged and I felt relieved to be safe once again.

I never saw or heard from my husband again. Today, my mother and I are struggling to support one another and our three children. It is difficult for my mother who now has a heart condition. I was unable to get my old job back and work as a social worker. Even though her health is not the best, my mother helps out by taking on part-time work as a maid. I also do part-time work and do manicures and pedicures. I even cook foods and desserts for sale to help make ends meet.

Sometimes, I miss my old job and think about what it would be like again to be single, with a good job, and no family responsibilities. I feel guilty for having thoughts like this. My children are doing very well in school and have grown up to be good and obedient children. But there are times when I feel like running away again from all of the challenges that I must deal with in life. It isn’t easy being a father and mother to a family. It isn’t easy going through life with no days off from work. To support my family, I cannot afford the luxury of a leave.

Sometimes, I feel guilty for running away from my husband. And I pray for the strength to see each day through to support my family and not run away from that responsibility. I just inhale and exhale and try to make it through the day doing the right thing. I remind myself constantly to keep on going … and to inhale and exhale from one moment to the next and to carry myself and my family through to the next day. All I can do is hope that one day, I won’t have to remind myself to inhale and exhale through life’s struggles. Maybe I will never see that day, but if I can make all the sacrifices, perhaps my children will never have to do what I am doing now.

– Anonymous

(photo by Ophelia, YouTube video: Leona Lewis “Better in Time”)

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She grew up in Manila, where her uncle trained her to develop her voice and to sing as she grew older. By the time she completed high school, Mariz was already looking for work as a singer and eventually landed a job as a singer for an orchestra in Malate. Her talent was noticed and she was encouraged to seek employment overseas.

In 1990, Mariz landed her first six month contract as a singer in Japan. For nearly a decade she shuttled back and forth between Japan and the Philippines. In time the recognition of her talent grew and she saw her monthly salary rise from $500 (USD) to $1,500 (USD) per month.

Of course during her career as a singer, she had many suitors but it was difficult to maintain a relationship while traveling out of the country so often. When back home, she could develop her love life, but when on the road she was living with other entertainers and dancers in a very challenging life that made maintaining a relationship difficult.

Taking some time off from work in Tokyo.

Today, Mariz has many fond memories of Japan and still remembers her trip to Disneyland as one of the most memorable events in her life. Although her career made her life challenging, she recommends that singers with talent explore the possibilities of singing overseas. But she cautions that although the rewards can be great, it is not an easy lifestyle. When traveling abroad for the first time to Japan, one has to be conscious of the dangers of the Japanese criminal underworld and the challenges of learning a new language and living in a different culture.

In 2000, Mariz returned home and sang for a while at several local hotels. Today, she is a manager at a KTV where she now trains other girls to sing and occasionally sings a few songs herself. Although, she is aging gracefully, Mariz still is able to sing with a great deal of passion and ability. Her rendition of “New York, New York” is superb and she does a lot of the older variety songs extremely well. And, of course, she is more than capable of handling the newer popular songs like “Nobody.”

Mariz is Michael’s Adventurer of the Week for having the courage and ability to travel overseas and adapting to a new language and culture. Despite the challenges that she faced, she was able to carve out a satisfying career. Today, she is once again looking into traveling back to Japan. She now is a separated mother who is raising four children and feels the need to earn and save more money for her children’s future.

It is not hard to imagine her singing the following words from “New York, New York” – ” … if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere …” I think those words sum up Mariz’s strength of heart, character, and drive to succeed no matter what challenges are thrown her way.

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American companies can reduce call center costs 5% by outsourcing to Canada, 10% to Latin America, and up to 30% in some Asian countries such as India or the Philippines. South Africa is also beginning to emerge as a popular call center provider. BPO (business process outsourcing) has enabled foreign companies to reduce their customer service costs a great deal while improving the quality of their customer service at the same time. One of the reasons for the popularity of Philippines for call centers is the widespread use of English, the lower costs of labor, and an ability of the Filipinos to outperform workers from other countries with respect to achieving customer satisfaction.

For the Philippines, the growth of call centers has created opportunities for employment and better than normal wages (10-15,000 pesos starting wage) for the capable call center employee. Call centers attract foreign investment that flows into the country that benefits other companies that support call center operations. And today, India and the Philippines are the major leaders in offshore call center services.

However, the news is not entirely rosy for this growing industry. A number of disturbing trends are emerging that suggest that changes may be in the works for this industry.

Protectionism: in countries such as the USA, there have been efforts to penalize companies that outsource work to foreign countries. Often lead by labor unions, many politicians have supported legislation that attempt to place limits on outsourcing. One of the biggest fears driving this protectionist movement is the concern that American jobs are being lost to foreign countries.

Competition: one of the countries that is beginning to emerge as a major provider for business process outsourcing is China which seems able to provide even lower costs (up to 30% less) than the Philippines for various BPO services. Some experts believe that China will ultimately catch up to India and the Philippines in the future and possibly compete for call center services.

Attrition: many of the workers who take call center jobs are in actuality “under-employed.” Some are engineers or nurses who are only taking on the job of a call center operator as a temporary step until they can find a better job. For other workers, the requirement of working graveyard shifts make the work less than ideal, particularly for those with family responsibilities. Others, simply find the work boring or stressful. As a result, the attrition rate in call centers is close to 20% and many call center operations find it difficult to retain workers.

Although call centers have been of benefit to the Philippines by creating new jobs and bringing in foreign investment, there are potential problems that the industry will have to face to continue to be at the forefront of business process outsourcing.

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Romeo (27, Cebu City)

Romeo, you have been unfair to both of the people you’re having a relationship with. It is sad that it took you a long time to realize the consequences of your decisions. Perhaps, the guy that you are with may tolerate and accept that you have a wife. He may even tell you that he would rather be in this situation than be left by you.  But that is still no excuse and is truly not fair to him. And then, what about your wife and family? If you have children, you have to be man enough to put them first. They should be a higher priority than your physical or emotional needs. 

So, which relationship should you save?  I’d say that your first priority lies with your family. However, if you have no feelings for your wife and family, then I am concerned that it may eventually lead to a more detrimental or ill relationship. You need to honestly look at your feelings. What do you really want? Who is the true Romeo – father of a family or a gay lover? I think you need to talk to your wife about it. She deserves to know the truth about you and be part of the decision that you make.

– Apple

Romeo, I feel that you are being selfish. You are more concerned about your feelings of guilt than the feelings of your two lovers. You should be concerned about your responsibilities, but you seem more concerned about how you feel and what is best for you. You say “ultimately you must choose.” In other words, you don’t care about your actions until the day when you feel like doing something about it – when it’s convenient to you.

My opinion is that you need to make a decision soon, not when you feel it is going to be convenient to you. Your responsibilities to your gay lover are emotional. However, your responsibilities to your wife are emotional and legal in nature. I cannot decide for you which relationship to save, but I hope that you are man enough to take responsibility for the consequences of your actions.  I am sympathetic to your problem of being a gay man in our society, but if you are just using your wife and family to provide yourself with a disguise to appear straight to your friends, family, and co-workers then I have no sympathy for you at all.

– Michael

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