Careers: Love or Money?

I have a one chance in a lifetime opportunity to take an overseas assignment for my company. It will give me a very large salary increase and a chance for promotion into management. However, it will take me abroad for several years and I recently became engaged to marry. Of course my fiance is very upset, because she will not be able to go on this assignment with me. She has given me an ultimatum. Either I stay in the Philippines and marry her or take the assignment and call the marriage off.  Should I decide for love or money?

Ferdinand (25, Manila)

Perhaps I’m old-fashioned, but I truly believe that any successful marriage depends on love and money. Without love, any marriage will eventually fail. But without money, then there is a good chance that you will fail to properly support your family in the future.  If this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity that will lead to a good career, then I see it as a sacrifice that the two of you should make for your future together. If your fiance is unwilling to compromise or wait for you, then I believe that she is being unrealistic about what it takes to make a successful marriage. If she truly loves you, then she will wait. If you truly love her, then you will return to her. If the two of you really don’t trust each other, then perhaps the two of you really aren’t ready for marriage in the first place.

– Michael

I believe you feel like you’re caught in the middle. I do think that it would be very impractical to turn down such an offer more so if it may aid financial and career growth. In return that would mean that you will be a better provider to your soon to be wife and your family in the future. Furthermore being abroad would not imply zero communication right?

As Mike said compromise is very essential. I think that the choice is not between love or money. Rather you should just make sure that if you pursue your career, being separated for miles should not drain away the love you have of her or the love she has for you. There should be an equal effort and understanding from both sides as it turns into a long distance relationship.

– Apple

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